the midwest, the heartland of america. i live in the third largest city in the midwest (that's for you to find out) and i believe it is a perfect microcosm of the gay culture. i have lived in the midwest my entire life, born and raised, and will probably remain here for the remainder of my life. something about the midwest fits me. i live in a big city that feels like a small town, but can get to a major metropolitan area in minutes. we have four distinct seasons here, each one i love for different reasons, and each one making me yearn for the others. we also have one other feature not many know of, the production of porn actors.
yes, in recent years, amongst the people i know and have met, a multitude of boys have delved into the porn industry. most notably were three friends of mine who all worked for the same site and have since stopped. the repercussions for one of my friends was tremendous, the other two seemed to benefit from it. the one got in trouble with the IRS and ended up owing tons of money, having his family find out, and having boy after boy pass him up. it doesn't help that his bitchy attitude really outshines anything else he has to offer, but for him, he definitely underperformed and did nothing for my erection. the other two had a some hot sex on camera and are living their lives now. one had a facebook scare when someone hacked in and posted pics of him from his work. but other than that, he's a good guy with a good guy to call his own.
another interaction i had was with this younger boy, 19, whom first lied to me about his age. we met and decided to hang out and after we hung out, i found out information about him that was not divulged while we were talking. he told me he was 21. that he didn't have facebook. that he was looking for a genuine guy. didn't like hooking up. wanted to get married. and most importantly, didn't like "gay stuff." well a couple days afterwards, i was reading one of my favorite porn blogs and low and behold, there's this boy, getting fucked on a site. i was shocked and started doing some research. in a matter of 15 minutes, i found out he was 19, he had facebook, he had a boyfriend who also did porn, he obviously was hooking up...
i was in utter shock. just days before this boy was painting himself as someone completely different. was he ashamed or was he telling me what he wished he was? regardless, no more communication has happened and i actually found out he has a twitter with his porn alias. tweeting to other porn actors, talking about doing coke, posting naked pics, and just generally enjoying "gay stuff."
i've been thinking about this for a while now. a little jealousy is involved as i wish i was confident enough in myself to do what these boys are doing or did. i'm a fan of porn, don't get me wrong. it's been my boyfriend for 5 years. but from what i've seen with my friends, i don't know if i could live with what i know people are saying about them. it's a tough subject to debate, but it's not necessary to lie about it either. be who you are, do what you want, don't be afraid to express it. if this boy would've told me the truth, it would have turned me on tremendously and probably would have took him home ;)
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