Bump in the Road

Ugh, my macbook began making a horrible noise on saturday night and I freaked out because my last two laptops (not mac's) all had their hard drives burn out or something which ended up loosing everything and having me to pay a fortune to fix it.  I took it to the geek squad the next morning and they said it would be really expensive if they fixed it so they refered me to a mac store (not an apple store).  Well first off, who knew the geek squad at best buy had such hot boys working there??  Seriously, hot and smart??  wow ;)

So I took it over to the mac store and low and behold, another hottie working.  This one was ADORABLE with black hair and freckles.  Luckily he was very nice and told me it was just the fan and that the repair would be cheap and not too worry too much.  Maybe he'll see all my porn on my computer and give me his number afterwards ;) 

Unfortunately I have been using an old crappy dell I have and now I am certain I will always be forever a mac guy.  I need some good luck my way...

p.s. it was fun looking through all my old stuff on this computer (pictures, documents, porn) it was like brand new again! 

Do we all...

REVOLVE AROUND SEX????  Ugh, this is something i'm sure all you readers are well aware of.  Yes, I have been guilty of it in the past, and yes I will probably be guilty of it in the future, but something happened that almost made me loose all hope in humanity.

Ok, so there is this website that I will not mention (no, not manhunt or any hookup site) that I frequent that is gay oriented.  It's a rather good website for a common interest and I met this really awesome guy online who I have been chatting it up with for a while.  First off, he's Asian and I don't usually go for Asian's, but he is gorgeous!  He is also one of the sweetest guys I know.  Yes yes, you can say "well how do you know if you've never met in person."  Well this guy is one of a kind.  I can tell because he tells me of this non profit organization he created that helps children who's parents have cancer...convinced now too?

So down to what happened.  Him and I talked about hooking up and what not and he mentioned to me that he has only had sex with two guys and does not hook up at all.  I applauded him for that and he was very genuine about it.  He's ripped so he would have no problem finding someone to hook up with, and this I found out soon enough.  I was laying in bed one night and he texted me and said "omg I'm out with a guy from *that website* and I'm having a great time."  So I responded and told him I'm glad b/c he's not out so he hasn't been around too many gay people yet.  Two days later we chat online and I found out the guy he was hanging out with is THE MOST GORGEOUS MAN ON EARTH.  I'm not kidding, not even kidding with the caps...  So I poked around and truth be told, they hooked up.  I was kinda disappointed because A. they are both hot and I was jealous and B. I really believed him when he said he doesn't do that.  What makes it worse is that he says they will remain friends because he was "just passing through."  I told him he was a road trip booty call.

So what disappointed me so much about this.  I have never met a true guy who was attractive and personable who didn't end up wanting sex.  It has never happened (to me at least) and I think it might never will.  I yearn for the day when a first date doesn't end up "watching a movie" or not getting a text back after the first night of hooking up or asking if I'm a top or bottom during dinner.  I want the genuine husband you see in movies who sweep you off your feet on the first date, not in the way you're thinking ;)

I try hard to be that guy, I really do.  With Mr. Future Husband, I refused to have sex with him and I told him that and he thought "that was the greatest thing ever."  Well looking back, I should've just banged him and went along my way but oh well.  So perhaps I should take a vow, a vow not to have sex until I'm in a relationship?   Unfortunately if I took that vow three years ago, my hymen would have grown over again.  So perhaps alter the vow to not having sex till the 3rd date?  That sounds good, that's a good amount of time to hang out, get to know each other, etc.  Now if you already have this rule then good for you, call me a slut!  But here's to finding the guy who's not obsessed with sex!

My Year of Disappointments (So Far)

Ok, so as I have mentioned early, I have horrible luck.  I have even worse luck when it comes to guys and dating.  I have only had two boyfriends and both last 3 months.  Both happened in 2006 and both ended with me getting dumped.  I've had numerous interests since then and yet no luck landing a good one.  I could literally write a 5 page blog about this subject, but I'll just humor you with my bad experiences from this year.

It all began with whom I'll call Mr. Perfect (kinda like Mr. Big from sex and the city.)  He had EVERYTHING going for him, well not everything, but damn near everything.  He was gorgeous, muscular, funny, sweet, kind, and to top it off, he is going to be making a lot of money in the near future with his career.  We found each other on a website (not a hookup website) and chatted for a couple months.  I finally built up the courage to ask him to lunch and he surprisingly said YES!  Well at our lunch, he was making eye contact, being his perfect self then tells me he's moving away for an assistantship in 3 days.  Yeah in 3 days...

Well we actually kept in touch for a bit after he moved and made plans for me to come visit him in February.  Well February came and I asked about our plans and he revealed to me that he met someone online and he was flying in Valentine's day weekend to visit.  After Valentine's day weekend he promptly had to tell me he was in love and they've been happy ever since.  Strike one for 2010.

The second guy who came along we'll call Hottie McTottie.  I will not reveal too much information about him personally cause he is in a pretty well known traveling show and we met up when he was in town here.  Here's a tid bit about me though, I fall way too quickly, with everyone.  Well we did meet on a hookup site, which I don't usually do, but this guy was beyond gorgeous.  So we texted and then one night he wanted to me to come over after his show.  So as I'm walking out the door to go hang out with him, I get a text that says "hey, i have lube but no condoms ;)"  I take some with me just in case.  Well of course I get there and he offers to put in a movie and then rub my back so I know we were going to have sex eventually that night, and we did.

Now here's the thing, the sex wasn't that great.  For being a hot, athletic, performer, he was kinda bad in bed.  But it didn't matter, the fact I banged this hottie was good enough for me.  Then after I came and I'm still in him he looks me in the eye's and says, "this wasn't just a hook up, I didn't think you'd be this sweet and awesome."  Right there, fell for the guy.  The rest of the time he was there he treated me so well; bought me tickets to his play, took me to dinner, took me to a cast party, kissed me goodnight...but no more sex, and for good reason.  HE HAD A BOYFRIEND!

Now this is where you'll judge me, but one morning after a night of cuddling, he was in the shower and his phone beeped with a text and I looked down to see what it was and yes, I went through his text messages.  I never do this and I don't know what came over me, but I did it.  His boy was sending him "I love you" and "I miss you so much" messages.  I felt horrilbe.  So I calmly left and he shortly left town after that.  He wanted me to visit him in the next city but warned me "we can't do what we did last time, I kinda started dating a castmate..."  Strike two for me in 2010...

Now here's the doozy.  Guy #3 this year was mr. future husband.  This guy had added me on myspace like 5 years ago and actually kept in touch all this time.  This guy was soooo adorable and had the perfect smile.  So finally this past March after my Hottie McTottie, I saw him online and said to him "hey, we've been friends online for like 5 years and we haven't met yet."  He promptly replied with "well let's fix that."  So the time came after some texting and deciding when we were both free that I drove myself down to where he was and we spent an awesome evening walking around the mall, having dinner, chatting over drinks, then him inviting me to his place to hang out more.  Now at this point I thought it was just going to end up being a hookup so I decided to go home with him.  We got there and watching a movie, cuddled and held hands for a while.  Then I offered to drive myself back home since it was late.  He refused to let me leave so I stayed with him.  The night quickly turned into a cute date to hot hot, messing around.  The messing around led to both of us professing how much we liked each other already, which led to me coming back that weekend to hang out.

The time between us hanging out was what got me.  I would get texts from him throughout the day exclaiming how cute i was and how bad he wanted to see me.  One in particular stands out which he sent me one night saying "is it disgusting that I can't wait to see you again."  Which made my heart melt. The next time we hung out solidified me falling hard for this guy.  We talked about what we were going to do in the future together, where we want to travel together, everything but what we wanted to name our kids.  Now I know that seems really fast, but we both said "I can't believe how good this feels this soon."

I left his place the next morning on cloud nine and he started classes again that monday.  I heard less from him since he was busy yet still got cute texts from him.  The next weekend we were to hang out but he cancelled on me because he forgot some plans he made.  I was weary of that and you should always trust your gut because the next day was the last I ever heard from him.  I got a text that said "Happy Easter, cutie."  To which I responded "thanks, i miss ya!"   That was the end.  No contact from him, no response, nothing.  I WAS DEVASTATED.  I still am a little.  This guy was my guy.  He was perfect to me and I wanted to marry him!  I recently found out he is dating someone for real now and it still stings to think about him.  Strike 3 for me in 2010.

Guy number four we'll call Mr. Good Sex.  Hopefully by his nickname you'll realize what our relationship was about.  I met him while hanging out with Mr. Future Husband and decided to hang out with him after about 2 weeks of no word from Mr. Future Husband.  Well Mr. Good Sex was in awesome shape and fun to be around.  We had dinner, drinks, then back to his place for a movie.  Yes, yes, i know that watching a movie is code word for sex, but I still hold out hope that one time I can actually "watch a movie" with a guy ;)  So we started the movie and immediately started making out.  This lead to three rounds of hot sex which I will never forget.  We complimented each other so well in bed.  He a bottom, I a top.  He likes it rough, I like it rough.  He lasted a long time, I lasted a long time.  You see where this is going... This went on for about 3 weeks and I finally said we needed to stop if we were only going to do this.  I knew he was moving away this summer anyways so I didn't want to get attached.

I actually didn't allow myself to get attached because I was still head over heals for Mr. Future Husband even though he was not talking to me anymore.  We became friends after we stopped having sex and hung out often, then one night I was feeling extra horny and decided to drop him a text.  I didn't get the response I expected because he had always took up my offers for sex.  I sent "hey, lets go three rounds tonight ;)" with him responding "haha, i'm kinda actually dating someone now, sorry."  Sorry?  So I became upset obviously and told him I was disappointed and we got in a huge fight about everything really.  Point being, this wasn't the worst guy of the year, but the sex was damn damn good.  Strike number 4 for 2010...

So through my trials and tribulations, I sit here writing this to get my thoughts out.  I think about Mr. Future Husband every fifteen seconds still.  The thought of him having moved on makes my stomach sick still.  I sometimes don't know what to do to get over this one but hopefully soon a cure will come around.  This is just a tidbit of my dating/guy history.  I will write the novel that will include all of them at one point, but on here, I'll prolly just mention the ones that stick out to me.

As of now I'm on a guy hiatus.  We'll see how this goes ;)

My Pride

Every year I have made it a goal for myself to attend at least one pride festival somewhere.  This year I thought I may have to go back on that promise because of where I moved to (the middle of boring) but alas, I found a way!  On Friday afternoon I realized that the next day was Columbus' Pride and I immediately thought I couldn't go because I had to work saturday night.  However, one of my many New Year's Resolutions this year was to travel more and be spontaneous.  Now when I say travel, I don't mean to Europe or the West Coast, just around the midwest in general.  So I found my friend Scott to go with me and the plans were set.

Saturday morning we left around 10am and found ourself traveling in a gloomy and dreary world.  I wore a cute outfit (in my opinion) and some new sunglasses and was feeling good about myself.  We get to Columbus and I immediately fall in love with the city!  The city scape was beautiful and the town was clean (for a bigger city).  I have to admit, growing up only an hour from Columbus, I had only been there once during a 5th grade field trip so I really had no recollection of the city what so ever.  After parking and walking around High Street for a while, we found a spot amongst the masses and waited patiently for the parade to start.

At noon sharp, the clouds broke and the sun came blaring out.  It felt good at first but then the heat became oppressive.  For some reason all I could think of were the drag queens and how horrible they must've been.  I thought "those poor drag queens with all that makeup and clothes on," yet they all showed their pride and made for a great parade!  During the parade though, a group of larger girls came stomping in next to us, literally stampeding their way into the crowd.  They would try to strike up conversations with me and my friend but one thing I do not like are pushy people.  Not only did they push their way by us, but they pushed their way into our conversation and that I do not like!  Also, I get uncomfortable around butch lesbians, don't ask why, I just do!  Anyways, here was a conversation they had with me after a float went by throwing t-shirts at people.

Me: "Ugh, I don't want this State Farm Insurance t-shirt.  It's huge anyways."
Scott: "Just throw it."
Large Lesbian #1: "OH!  What size is it."
Me: "Ummmmm 2XL."
Large Lesbian #2: "That's my size" (Grabbing it out of my hands)
Me: "Yes, your welcome."
Large Lesbian #2: "I can wear this to work."

I did not imply into where she worked or tell her that nothing is good about being a size 2XL...

After the parade we made our way to the park and immediately consumed a huge sweet tea.  By this time my neck was as red as a cherry and my shirt was starting to get wet from all of the sweat.  My friend and I walked around the parade and met up with a friend of mine from Indy and then made our way home since I had to work.  I was sad to leave and was surprised that I was sad.  I literally fell in love with that city this weekend, not to mention, there were so very good looking guys there.

All in all I had an amazing time in Columbus.  I was impulsive and achieved a New Years Resolution, explored a new city, and got a rockin farmers tan!  Can't complain about that :)

Hello Hello

Hello everyone!  First off, thanks for stopping by, hopefully you'll be entertained enough to keep coming back for more.  I want to start off by telling everyone a little about myself.  I was born and raised in Ohio and will probably be a Buckeye for life.  I love the midwest and don't yearn to go elsewhere.  I'm a fairly athletic guy having played college tennis and now an avid gym goer.

I enjoy simple things in life and you can easily satisfy me.  I give 110% to whatever relationship I develop; whether it be friendship, bf (not that I have those right now), coworker, etc. I give it my all.  I have a best friend whom we'll call M who I met in college.  I am a college graduate and am in the midst of the great job hunt.

Alot of my posts will deal with the bad luck I go through.  I'm convinced that sometime in my life, I must have crashed a mirror truck and shattered hundreds or mirrors, because Lady Luck is definitely not interested in me.  Anything from dating, to friends, to work, to having fun; I have the worst luck it seems.  I like to think I am a simple person, but more and more I'm thinking perhaps I'm more complex and complicated than I thought I was.  So stay tuned and maybe you'll feel better about your fortunes after reading about mine.