Titles

I have to admit something, I do have profile's on hookup sites...  I do not show my face on them and I do not act on any contacts, anymore ;)  I am mostly bored now and like to look through things, strike up conversation with the one's I find might be interesting, and laugh at the one's that are just absurd.  Now I won't tell you what site these come from or where they are from, but I'll give you a few examples.

Example #1: username BoiPussy4u2use
Now there is multiple things wrong with this screen name.  First, I hate it when guys spell "boy" with an i. Second I hate the term "boy pussy."  I literally stopped having sex with this guy cause he said these exact words to me; "does my tight boy pussy feel good?"  Done and done.  Thirdly, 4u2use???  That literally makes you a cum dumpster, literally.  And what can I use it for exactly?  Can I cook eggs with it?  Does it crochet?  Can it mix some drinks for us?  Pretty bad username if you ask me.  (note: the guys profile picture is him getting fisted, enough said).

Example #2: headline "can host tonight, come feel my warming sensation."  Alright, I like to read the craigslist missed connections and personals because honestly, they make me laugh.  This one is ridiculous though!  Warming senstation???  Is this guy really saying "Come over and fuck me and I'll give you syphilis cause it'll burn when you pee when you're done with me."  gross gross gross.

Example #3: email sent to me.  "Hey, I really liked your profile and was wondering if you wanted to help a first timer out.  Been married for 25 years and would like to see what i've missed out on.  Wife's out of town for the weekend and I have all her bra's and pantie's at my disposal.  Let me know."  Ummmm what??   First things first, I would feel horrible if I helped a guy cheat on his wife, second, if they've been married for 25 years, he has to be at least 45, and third, I do not want some old woman's bra and panties at my disposal!!!!  No thank you.

Example #4: "college" in sn.  There is a extreme fetish in the gay world with the following terms: college, jock, frat, co-ed, and af.  Too many thirty-something's have the term "college" in their sn.  Ok, yes, you may still be in college, but that doesn't make you hot.  I finished 4 years of college, 90% of the guys I saw were not hot.  Also please learn what a "jock" is.  To mean, it means you work out a lot and really don't care about much else.  Too many slobs and fat guys use this in their sn's and I almost want to email them to ask them how many times they've lifted a weight in the past year or went running.  Don't use it unless you are one.  Also, the fascination with "frat guys" and "co-ed" is kinda ridiculous.  It's more prevalent in porn, but it still makes me wonder, are we obsessed because we think it's a house full of guys who jerk off all the time (now if every Fraternity was like the website Fratmen, then yes, it would be hot).  Oh quick side note about frat guys.  I was walking to class one night during grad school and where I walked I had to walk right by all the fraternities and sororities and one night this most gorgeous guy came walking out in boardshorts (It was in November) and he was one of those you could find on the website Fratmen.  For a second I abandoned my thought that frat guys were not appealing for the mere fact that they were in a frat cause my mind automatically thought of the dirty things he was doing inside that house ;)  Finally, why do guys think if they put AF in their profile (for Abercrombie and Fitch) that it makes them more appealing?  It doesn't.  Should we think you were in one of those magazines that the company used to put out?  No, you're no where close to it.  Don't even bother with me...

So hopefully you don't think i'm a big whore, I just like to look, strike up conversations, and just laugh really.  I have met up once or twice with someone and perhaps I'll tell you another time ;)  Oh, fyi, my screen name is that of a modern philosopher so don't judge me ;)