Awkward hook up

So we all have them.  An awkward hook up that leaves us scratching our head, wondering why we just didn't stay in and jerk off by ourselves.  Well that happened to me last night.  Yes, I know I have said before that I'm going to wait for a third date, find someone special....bullcrap.  Boys need sex.

I met this pretty attractive Puerto Rican on grindr.  Chatted him up for a couple hours and of course traded the obligatory dirty pics.  He was hot.  He was fit.  Later I found out, he was a flight attendant.  Now why does that matter, because I have a theory that they fly to each city, get a free room, and so they probably invite someone over at every stop.  That's why I'm weary.

Well I did it because at first he told me he was here for work.  So I get there and he says he needs to take a shower.  He proceeds to go into the bathroom and then asks if I'm joining him.  I sprint into the bathroom, I love shower sex!  So we're in the shower getting hot and heavy and we get each other off and when we get out of the shower I find that all my clothes I wore that were on the ground are completely drenched from the shower curtain being slightly open.  I'm not talking about just getting a little wet, these clothes are soaked.  I had to ring them out that's how bad they were.

I don't worry about it and we go to the bed and get off again.  Then in the middle of me getting him off the 2nd time he stops and says, "I need to eat before I get off."  Ok?  So he calls room service and orders food.  Yes, and they bring it up and he eats it all up and then lays back down expecting me to get him off again.  By this time, I was tired, no longer horny, and I didn't want to mess around with someone who just pigged out on hotel food in front of me.  So I say I need to leave and he replies "but your clothes are soaked, just stay here and in the morning they'll be dry."  Rule 1, I don't like to stay over if I know it's just a hook up.  So I put on my sopping wet clothes and just swallow my pride and walk right out.  People staring and everything, but hey, I doubt i'll see them again.

Was a hot puerto rican who likes to eat worth driving home in soaking wet clothes.  Maybe, but I could've done without that gross feeling when you're wearing wet clothes.  But come to think about it, I got off twice, he only did once ;)

The Odd Couple

Speaking of the weird couple that was at the lake with me last weekend, I went to a friends party last night and there were numerous odd couples there.  I when I speak of odd, I mean one was really hot and the other was definitely not!  This one couple in particular last night was complete polar opposites of one another.  He was tall, dark, muscular, chiseled face and tan while his partner was short, fat, bald, and wore glasses.  This may sound like a joke, but it wasn't.  My mouth dropped when I found out those two were together.  I didn't understand.

The other couple was my friend who had the party.  Older, in his 40's, muscular, gray hair, taller while his new boy is a twink in his early twenties!!!  I couldn't believe it when he introduced me to him.  Another couple wasn't as bad, just noticeably different in the hottness factor, but nothing to gawk about.

So here I was, astonished at these couples and the differences I could see on the outside.  But then I thought, here I am alone wanting to be with someone and all I notice are the hot guys who don't seem to want anything with me.  Maybe that's where I'm going wrong, THAT is where i'm going wrong.  Sure these guys are different when it comes to their appearances, but perhaps they are meant for each other for many more reasons than looks.  They all seemed genuinely happy (well the ugly boys should be since they are with significantly hotter partners!)  kidding.... kinda.

I see it alot with hetero couples, a hot girl with a dumpy guy... but I had never seen it in the gay community like that before.  I therefore proceeded to get extra drunk off sangria and pass out.  I had fun, met a couple new friends and perhaps had a breakthough.  I still don't know if I don't have a physical attraction to someone though if a relationship could work, or if I would even give it a try?  Only time will tell I guess... time to call it an evening and enjoy the rest of my sunday.

Lake time

Yep, that's me.  Yep, I got burnt.  But I had the most amazing time boating last weekend.  It was exactly what I needed and couldn't of asked for more.  The weather was perfect, the people were awesome, the drinks were abound, and there was no drama.  I met two really cute boys, did some flirting, made tons of new friends and it made me miss Indy :(

The only weird thing about boat day was this couple that was there.  This older gentleman maybe 35?  had this 19 year old bf.  Yep, you read that correctly.  Well they were only friends with the guy who organized this so no one else really knew them.  But later we found out that they don't even have sex, that the older guy just buys the younger one things, including a new Mustang!  Yes, he bought his little twink who doesn't put out a car.  If i had a couple more drinks in me, I would've offered my services to this guy and I would've put out for a car!  Hahah just kidding.  Kinda.  But for real, they were really weird and awkward the whole day.  I don't like twinks, never have, never will...

Other than the weird couple, it was awesome, I had a great time and now i'm peeling on my shoulders and back :)  Signs of a good time!

What have I become?

So i took today off completely.  I didn't have to work, it was my day off from the gym, my day off from dieting and i feel horrible about it!  Wherever you read it says "you need to take a day off from dieting and the gym to help your body recover."  But now I'm obsessing over it.  I may be developing a little body dysmorphia ;) jk jk I still pigged out today.

I do however hate those people who are so strict with their workouts and diets that they become overwhelmed with them.   A friend of mine is like that, 2+ hours at the gym a day, periods of bulking and cutting, overeating and starving....it's just not right.  I hit my max at an hour and a half at the gym and sometimes I can't help that late night resse cup :(  But to those of you who are hardcore, kudos to you.  For me, I'll stick to feeling a little guilty after my binge day.

I used to be fun

I swear I was a barrel of monkey's before I moved back home to Ohio!  When I lived in Indy I would go out every weekend with friends, have lunch with friends daily, go see movies, go run on the canal, and just overall enjoy life.  Not in Ohio.  I know 4 people here, I haven't gone out in 5 months, I haven't drank since my birthday in May, and now I go to movies by myself :(

Now when I was in grad school I wasn't really complaining because I was so busy, now I just work, workout, and play tennis.  Not a bad life considering, but I need to spice it up a little.  Luckily for me, I'll be going to a lake next weekend with some friends from Indy so at least I'll have a little r&r this summer.

But here's the thing, because I have lived such a dull life, my body has never been in better shape!!!  I have time to work out 6 days a week, not drinking alcohol has done wonders for my waistline, and playing so much tennis really has got me in great shape! Soon I will show you my before and after pics, but until now i'll hold you in suspense :)

So I guess you give a little, take a little?  Is that the right phrase for this situation?  hahah i dunno.  Enjoy your sunday!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Why did i

So tonight I am on facebook and was looking up a friend with the same first name as "mr. future husband."  and low and behold mr. future husband showed up with his profile picture of him and his boyfriend.  someone literally stabbed me in the heart!!!!  ugh, that sucked :(  i literally thought i was pretty much over it, but that hurt real bad.  like heart racing, stomach churning, limb numbing, pain...

gotta fix this soon.  any suggestions? :(

You before anyone else

First things first.  I will try to blog more!  I promise.

Alright, so here's what I have been thinking about recently.  It all started when someone told me he has never been happier than he is now that he is with this guy.  Good for him, very good for him I thought at first.  Then as I was thinking, do I need a guy in order to be at my all time happiness?  This got me thinking and it got me scared.  I have always been one who doesn't like to depend on someone, so the thought of depending on someone else to make me happy just made me more sad.

I have recently thought that though, if I just had a guy to turn to all my problems wouldn't feel as bad as they are.  But then I said "but guys come and go and when the guy goes you'll have a whole new set of problems on top of the problems you had before him."  Perhaps dating or being in a relationship when you're young or you don't know quite what you want yet is like a band aide, a temporary fix.  This is what most relationships are I believe, band aides...  You see it all the time, someone gets dumped or breaks up with their partner and they're in a relationship right away.  That's a band aide.  Someone is not doing so well with work or money, but they are going through guys like it's their second job.  That's a band aide.

Perhaps this is the reason young relationships are so dysfunctional.  The band aides come off sooner than later and your true self is revealed and all hell breaks out.  Then to fix that band aide, you find other band aides to sleep with to fix that wound that wasn't all the way healed and we have a vicious cycle on our hands.  This is also known as the gay community and every guy I dated!!  I guess I was just a big first aide kit for my two boyfriends and springboards for the other guys I've liked to moved on to bigger and better things, but not me.  Really not kidding with this, I'm like that Dane Cook movie where he dates people so they can get boyfriends that aren't him.  Totally me!  Take a look at my last blog about this year's disappointments.  All four of them are with someone else and committed now...  but not with me.

I've decided and came to the conclusion I want to be happy with my life and myself without a guy in it before I get into a relationship.  Not that guys are throwing themselves at me right now, but you know what I mean.  I want to find my career, get out of debt a little, do something....  However, thinking of this, you might say "what if a gorgeous, generous, kind guy comes along and wants you?"  Well, I'll cross that bridge when it happens, until then, I'm done actively searching.  My third date sex rule will still apply and I will not have any expectations with anyone.  Again, not that I'm having third dates left and right.  I would much rather be happier alone than pseudo-happy in a relationship when I know everything is riding on whether or not we stay together.  We should all be happy with ourselves, I think if we were, we would be much nicer to people and more considerate of others.  But until we can be truly happy alone, we probably should stock up our first aide kits ;)